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You probably never thought that it would happen to you. As you sit alone now, thinking about the good times more than the bad times, you feel worse because you don’t know if those good times would ever come back again.

Maybe they will. Maybe they won’t.

Then you start wondering if that person misses your good times together. You wonder if he or she is also feeling the same pain. You wonder why he or she doesn’t tell you how they’re feeling right now.

And guess what, they’re probably thinking the same too.

Of course, it depends on how bad the breakup was. The thing is, if both of you had put in so much into this relationship, no matter how “mutual” or “bad” the breakup was, it stings. 

It may sting in different level for you and your ex partner, but it still stings.

And if it doesn’t sting for him or her, then it’s better you know this now so you can truly begin on a path to self-healing and loving.

If the relationship lasted this long, it had something powerful in there. It is then up to human nature to make or break it, just like how some people can go bankrupt despite having abundant money at the beginning. 

When you have gone through heartache after heartache, you might start to get disillusioned or disappointed with love. But not everyone knows how to love, and some don’t even love themselves. 

While most of us fall in love without qualifying that person before we do so, this is where when bad times strike, we start wondering why we were so “blind” at the beginning.

Don’t regret. When you and that person started this relationship, both of you wanted to love and be loved. And that was achieved. Sustaining it, however, was the next level.

So don’t be hard on yourself, stop criticising yourself. You did what you could, you were still standing there even as they turned their backs and walked out of that door. 

You can’t stop people from doing such things to you. But at least don’t let them take away your sanity and inside happiness. 

It’s not easy and it hurts. 

But don’t be jaded. Believe that love will find its way to you. You’ll have to be ready when it comes. And continue to put in that amount of energy, feelings and all that you want, into giving the best of you.

For relationship coaching, please email us at theindoexpat@gmail.com