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ethics in psychology, finding a good therapist, how to know if your therapist is objective and neutral, life coach SG, life coaching, love and relationships, multilingual therapist, objectivity and factual, personal development and well-being, positive psychology, professional therapists, psychotherapist Singapore, psychotherapy, relationship issues, short reads in psychology, the indo expat
Having a life coach or similar therapist is almost as common as having your own private gym instructor these days. But whether you’re looking for a therapist for the first time or wondering if you should continue with your current therapist, objectivity and being neutral are must-have traits of a professional therapist.
As a start, therapists are supposed to possess the following:
– Recognised qualifications (check for authenticity!)
– Friendly and approachable attitude
– Profile where you can have an idea of what he or she is like as a person and their life experiences
– Strong interpersonal communication skills (fluent?)
And more. The above are what you can understand before even booking the first session, or, during a complimentary consultation before it.
We all have our own opinions and ways of life. An objective therapist will not use his or her agenda upon you. What does this mean?
Consider the following conversation:
You: I’m not sure if I should get a divorce…
Therapist: Well God wouldn’t like that.
Maybe God wouldn’t, maybe He would. No one knows, unless the therapist happens to be God Himself or is able to arrange a meeting for you to meet up with God. An objective therapist would probably respond in the following ways:
– Could you tell me more (about this dilemma)?
– What are you not sure about?
– What are you considering?
Being objective is to base on facts, not feelings or emotions. The therapist gets facts by asking you, not telling you. If you had wanted information, you would have attended a lecture, seminar, or simply googled. But you’re in a therapy FOR YOU, neither for your therapist nor the person(s) who make you come for it. It is important to be aware of this as some unprofessional therapists take the easy way out by preaching to you and essentially became salespeople.
Good therapists are genuine about people. They are non-judgmental and want to help their clients achieve what they want.
You may have come across non-judgmental people before. Think of people you met for the first time. Since they don’t know you, their thoughts about you are solely based on what they can see, and the comments that you make. Now let’s take that online. You can’t see the person and neither can they see you. This means both of you can only form thoughts based on the meaning of the words that you have interpreted for yourself. But most of us are likely to feel less judged as we do not know who or how many people are behind the monitor screen. So when you get an innocent question such as “What makes you happy?”, you can answer it without feeling actual eyes or facial expressions reacting to you as you do.
Your therapist could let you know how they let you know they are listening to you. This means some therapists nod, some don’t. Others smile, some don’t. But smiling and nodding may sometimes be interpreted as “in agreement”, and the therapist’s job is not to agree or disagree with you. Remember, it is clarity and awareness that allow you to choose for yourself, because you are in charge of what you want to do and achieve.
So the next time you’re with your therapist, seek facts. Validate the facts by finding out where they come from, check if they’re reliable, and the number of credible studies that contain similar facts.
Want to speak to a therapist? Email us at theindoexpat@gmail.com and enquire now.