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Think about someone you love or loved. How would you describe the person and your feelings towards them?

To you, they may be the most beautiful person on earth.

Even when they’re yelling and swearing at you.

To you, they can do no wrong and even if it’s not your fault they were late for work because they didn’t set their own alarm clock, you still apologise or try to make up for their unhappiness over their own doing.

What’s going on?

The sexy, confident you has now become meek and it feels like you’re walking on eggshells because you don’t want to do anything that would flare up your beloved partner. You even absorb and accept it when they tell you your hair looks horrible or you’re too short and won’t look good in those jeans.

You actually thought that you had to do something to change so that they would say you’re attractive. Or at least they would stop complaining about you to you or people around you two.

Yet you hold back on your partner’s flaws because you don’t think they’re such a big deal or you don’t let them bother you because you love your partner. In fact, you tell them they look good and even when they fart you laugh and think it’s lovely. After all, he or she is your angel, and you want to focus on their good qualities right?

Then when you find yourself picking up tabs all the time and they don’t offer to share the costs or even buy you a meal once in a while, you still thought it’s ok because you love your him/her. Never mind that couples around you seem to be sharing happily.

You carry out errands on their “requests” which are actual commands but when you try the same on them, they give you excuses or simply tell you no. But of course, you know their reactions when you try telling them no.

You work like a dog as you think about the future that you want to build with them, and you try to get them whatever they like or need. Never mind that they got angry at you when you don’t get certain things for them every now and then.

If their friends or family dislike or talk bad about you, they don’t stand up for you like they used to. In fact, they seem to be glued to their phones and message endlessly while you’re eating with them or trying to share with them something interesting. And if you want to discuss some issues or talk about something deep, they’re usually tired, sleepy or look uninterested. You can look upset or affected but they don’t come over to hug you and ask you, “What’s wrong?”

They get sensitive or defensive when you ask them about personal matters and suddenly it’s as if it’s none of your business. Never mind that when they ask you and you don’t divulge details, they get mad at you and start a Cold War.

You start bringing them more gifts because these short-term solutions seem to make them happy for that moment – and it made you happy as well. But it isn’t long before they flare up again – or dump you. No matter how much thought you put into certain gifts, they dismiss it as merely items though they used to even treasure that stuff toy.

And you thought that diamonds were a good representation to signify forever love – but in the end they only saw the price tag and not the message behind it; even though the ring wasn’t exactly cheap either. Where’s your ring from them anyway?

My moment of truth came when I looked into her eyes as her glared at me angrily as I told her I was upset about something and that I wanted to share with her.

“But I’m sleepy,” she would yawn in my face. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Oh ok well I also wanted to ask you if you want this pair of heels that I saw online the other day.”

Suddenly there was no more sleepiness.