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Are there times where you felt like giving up on communicating with your loved one because you thought they wouldn’t understand (or try to) anyway? 

You know who your loved one(s) is.

They range from families, friends, pets and of course, your partner. 

So you remember the sleepless nights where both you and the other felt tired and helpless after a screaming match or an intensive argument. Perhaps it was simply a short conversation which did not help to improve your relationship in any way either. 

You turn to someone else or bottle it up even though you want to talk to that loved one involved. You don’t want to be avoiding the person but it seems like the “best option” for now so there won’t be more heated arguments.

But the truth is, the issues that caused the fights are lying under all that foundation that you have and are supposed to be building on. 

Some of us seek professional help, some of us don’t have that luxury to do so and Google online in search of some sound advice or solutions. Some of us, do not even do anything about it, hoping the issues would disappear somehow.

But we know they wouldn’t. They are simply hidden for now, covered by other things, forgotten deliberately, but will rise again when the occasion for it exists.

And you realized nothing has changed, because you might not have done anything to allow growth or development. Instead, you chose to let it manifester into something bigger. And possibly damaging.

But this person will erupt like a volcano! He or she is stubborn as a mule! 

Why are you thinking negative of this person when obviously you want things to work out? 

Think about it. How can you replace each negative thought with something positive?

More importantly, how can you help this person to work it out with you? 

Of course, it takes two hands to clap. It helps if you could ask the involved person if they feel the same before you embark on solutions work better when they benefit mutually. The following are some questions you could ask your partner or the person involved:

– Would you like to work with me to solve some issues that we have?

– Could we take turns to voice our own opinions and not have any interruptions or comments during the process?

– Could we meet each other halfway through the bridge? Meaning, let’s compromise to achieve a win-win situation.

– What kind of support do you need from me? What kind of support can you give me?

And so on.

If you’re not able to have an honest talk like above, all is not lost. Since some people express themselves better through other ways such as painting and music, so you could reach them through those means. 

Some of us prefer messages, and you could leave them a note. If you’re into digital, check out our website at theindoexpat.com for a section on thoughtful messages or email us at theindoexpat@gmail.com and share with us your thoughts.